What does a sophisticated woman look like in this day and age? How to become more elegant, follow the modern etiquette and avoid the faux pas?

Being elegant takes an air of quiet confidence yet humble demeanor. A graceful woman will shine in a public or private setting. The first impression is the most important, and every woman can use it to present herself as a sophisticated and elegant lady.

In this guide, we will take a look at all the perks and perils of our times to find the best tips for a modern woman who wishes to refine her style and class.

Elegance is a manner of presentation, conversation, and appearance with a continuity that is unbroken.

People have always been social creatures. We rely on having a social protocol and structured interactions to make everyone relaxed and comfortable.

While it may seem like there are no rules to behavior today when compared to earlier times, that structure is still here: we use it on business meetings, when traveling to other countries, meeting new people or going on dates.

There are rules to follow for each, which helps us by knowing what to expect from others.

A Bit of Etiquette History

The expectations for social behavior go way back, with the first recorded pursuit of virtues dating back to 24^th century BC and Ptahhotep, an Egyptian Vizier who wrote Maxims of Ptahhotep, where he shared his wisdom on how to live well and have good manners.

The term etiquette in a social rule sense was first used back in 1750. The Enlightenment era of the 18^th century is where politeness as a norm was born.

Since then, politeness has become a symbol of being an upstanding member of the society.

Still, many norms and behaviors have roots in practical applications or superstition:

• Putting Your Elbows On The Table
  This goes back at least 800 years when people often had meals at a long table with tight seating. If your elbows were on the table, you were taking up the others space on each side which was rude and invasive.
• Leaning Over Food
  Leaning over your food with elbows up was considered to be in poor taste as it appeared you were poor and too eager to eat.
• Shaking Hands
  It was the English way of approaching someone showing good faith and that you had no concealed weapons.
• Covering The Mouth When Yawning
  To prevent a soul escaping the body or evil spirits entering the body, you had to cover your mouth when yawning. Later, yawning was associated with boredom and considered very rude.
• Clinking Glasses During A Toast
  This dates back to a practice where people would actually spill a little of their beverage into the other glass. This was a sign of good faith - if there was a poisoning attempt, then everyone would suffer the same fate.

Luckily today, etiquette is more about good impressions and less about making sure your host is not trying to poison you.

Still, there are differences in what is considered polite and what is rude around the world.

Being Cultured Is Different Around The World

There is no universal rule about politeness. Every continent and every country has their own practices and standards to follow to be considered an upstanding member of society. Even within the same country, you will find different norms depending on the area you are currently staying at.

What one area considers polite can be a horrible transgression in another. When you’re traveling, don’t just look up the best restaurants or sights in a country, also look up local customs to avoid making a fool of yourself.

A little preparation goes a long way: you will dodge being flustered by unfamiliar customs and will also represent your country in the best possible manner.

Being familiar with the rules of politeness is a show of respect, which also positively reflects on your character.

Here are just a few things that are vastly different in other countries:

• Mexico - Avoid bold eye contact-it’s considered aggressive. Women should hold out their hand first if offering a handshake. The hand sign for okay is conceived as vulgar and should not be displayed. Belching, hands on your hips, as well as elbows on the table, are all rude behaviors.
• Germany - A quiet demeanor is respected when in the public eye. A firm handshake with the more formal Mr. and Mrs. introduction is proper etiquette. The humble "Please" and "Thank you" are expected. Use good table manners when sharing a meal.
• Russia - When socializing, accept an alcoholic drink when offered, or it is considered offensive. You can prepare for this by eating greasy food before the meeting. Smiling at strangers is not socially acceptable. When making a purchase, place the money on the counter instead of trying to place it in the hand of the cashier.

Then And Now: How Ladies Were And What It Means To Be A Lady Today

Ladies etiquette is not the same as it was in earlier decades. Today, women have a more forward approach in societal matters and have accepted many roles that were unobtainable to them earlier.

For example, in the earlier decades, it was considered normal for a lady to:

• Never call a man they were first courting on the telephone.
• Always wear moderate closed toe, low heeled shoes.
• Never wear white after Labor Day.
• Leave the paying for anything when on a date to the man.
• Always walk on the side of a man away from the curb.
• Keep dresses at knee length or below.
• Never show the midriff in public.
• Wait for men to open doors and pull out their chairs from the dining table.

Today, these rules are much different. The 21st century Lady is not restricted by these prior demands, but there are new things to watch out for. While the fashion parameters don’t dictate the color you can wear after Labor Day anymore, there are still etiquette rules on what to wear on different occasions, like birthdays, weddings, business meetings or work.

Gone are the days when there were gender-specific dress codes where women were not allowed to wear pants to work or in private. Finally!

While we are equal to men in today’s relationships and business attire, and it’s frowned upon to be submissive in any sense, there are new rules to follow.

How to act when dating online, how much can you use your phone in social settings, and the right way of presenting yourself on social media or business settings is something ladies from decades past didn’t have to worry about.

There is one evergreen rule to follow for all of those settings:

When interacting with others, always remember to remain gentle but firm.

For example, while you should always let others know if they have crossed your personal boundaries, choose how you will communicate this. Educate rather than punish.

Your presence on social media should follow the same rules: be gentle, educate, but stand behind your beliefs. Your audience is watching how you present yourself even in the written word or in the images you decide to share. Being friendly and gracious, especially online as it is a recorded tribute to your character.

Avoid displaying negative behaviors such as being dramatic or seeking attention through your actions, clothing, or posts, as this can ostracize you socially. Such actions reveal a weakness in character and lead others to question all your other actions.

Reserve the shouting for when it’s truly needed - if you’re attacked, you can forget all about being polite.

Society tends to lean toward those who act well, listen intently and take their time before making a decision.

How To Avoid Faux Pas

A faux pas translates to an inappropriate behavior or a social mistake. Some of these transgressions are, for example, giving unsolicited advice about someone's looks or canceling plans with someone and posting images online doing the same with someone else.

Backtrack and offer a sincere apology if you commit such a social crime, but try to avoid it altogether.

Here are some of the most common situations where this happens:

• When traveling to other countries or other parts of your own country. This is especially common for large urban areas where there are multiple cultures present. You need to be aware of custom differences in your own vicinity.
• Body language is as important as speech. Gestures can be a compliment in one culture but the same gesture can be considered rude or an insult in another. Think before you act or speak. Make inquiries and show you are willing to learn. A lady always respects the ways of others.
• Dining etiquette is often an area that can lend itself to social faux pas. Respect the dining rules of your host. It may not be what you were taught as proper, so be open to learning new ways without complaint.
• Public drinking should be moderate. Drunken behavior will not be forgotten by others. If you need to let your hair down, do so privately.

Being a Lady in the 21st Century is not about being a prude or socially elite. Elegance is always a choice. Being well mannered, gracious, and humble is socially acceptable at any time.

Modern Etiquette in Different Settings & Situations

Life seems to be so fast paced these days that basic etiquette is all but lost. In this scramble between work, chores, and obligations, little things and details are shamefully forgotten and are a frequent reason for missed opportunities.

Here is how you can tastefully incorporate etiquette into your modern-day lifestyle.

Business Etiquette

The most important part of any business interaction, apart from wearing appropriate attire, is your introduction. Remember to keep this formal by stating your first and last name.

When being introduced to others, politely greet them by using their names to add a personal touch and help yourself recall them in the future. Top off your professional introduction with a business card.

In the business world, time is money, so it’s imperative that you’re not only punctual to meetings, but that you respond to all forms of communication in a timely manner. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s okay to pull out your phone and check emails in the middle of a meeting!

Express your gratitude carefully as well because saying thank you for every little thing will wear the depth of the expression out.

When it comes to business meals, ensure that you order with the pack. This means that if they order an entrée, do the same. This matching of the platters warrants that the group will finish around the same time without any awkward gaps. If you happen to be the host, it is imperative that you take care of the check and even better if this is done discreetly.

Public Transport and Flying

A classy lady will give up her seat on a bus to the elderly, pregnant and children, or anyone who looks like they need the seat more than her. Considering that most forms of public transportation are enclosed spaces, there are some basic rules of consideration to follow.

• Avoid eating or drinking anything with strong odors and keep your noise level to a minimum.
• When traveling with large groups, patience is the key to respect. Don’t push or shove others while waiting to board or exit. Instead, wait patiently for the crowd to die down before making a move and don’t block the doors.
• Be aware of both your personal space and that of others. Don’t engage in activities that may invade the space of others and keep your bags close to you.
• Use headphones if you want to watch something or listen to music.

Modern Dating Etiquette

With the onset of dating sites and apps, the art of courtship has become more casual over the years. Now, splitting the bill has become more common, especially if it is the lady who initiated the date.

However, this doesn’t mean chivalry is dead because the little gestures still matter and unfortunately can’t be conveyed over text.

When it comes to dating profiles, honesty is always the best policy. Keep your expectations clear and your communications straightforward. It’s not ladylike to string another person on and neither is it a good basis for a strong relationship.

Manners are key when it comes to dating apps. Although it may seem all too easy to ghost someone and cut him or her off in the virtual world, this practice would be unacceptable in real life. If you’re not interested, put it nicely and be direct about your feelings.

Gift Giving and Receiving

The art of gift giving varies from situation to situation. For example, in an office setting, you would opt for more practical gifts that could be of use to anyone. This would be an appropriate setting to give a gift card, especially if it’s catered to the individual’s habits, such as to a bookstore or café.

When it comes to weddings and showers, anything off of the couple’s registry is a safe bet.

When it comes to buying gifts for children, it’s best to find out what their parent's preferences are. Most importantly, don’t make anyone feel uncomfortable when receiving a gift from you.

This can happen when you spend lavishly while your friend may be financially unstable.

Receiving gifts can be just as difficult to master because sincerity is key, even if you may not like the present.

I remember during an unfortunate Secret Santa when I received a random mix of dollar store items hastily thrown together in a nondescript brown paper bag.

Obviously, it was upsetting after I spent careful thought and time into my present, but I still followed up with a thank you note.

You never know what hardships someone else may be going through and although it would have been more appropriate to opt out of the event rather than letting someone down, that person still spent the time and effort to participate.

Remember that it’s always the thought that counts. It is always appropriate to send a handwritten thank you note to express your gratitude.

Social Media and Phone Etiquette

These days, people seem to be glued to their phones and you can’t blame them because times are so fast-paced that it's important to stay connected. However, a responsible lady knows how and when to use her phone.

This is especially important considering that social media can be used to craft an image.

Do not speak loudly on the phone while in public and refrain from emotional outbursts. When it comes to text conversations, be cautious of what you send because it will stay on record. Keep your phone on silent in professional settings.

When it comes to social media, post wisely and think about whether your future self would approve of the picture or video. Give photography credit when it’s due and get the permission of all the subjects before posting. Don’t fall prey to the toxic “like for a like” mentality that runs rampant on social media and is honest with your preferences.

As hard as it may seem, even technology can’t break age-old traditions and polite mannerisms. They simply need to be translated over and applied to the modern world in a slightly different way.

Dressing Appropriately for Every Occasion

The fashion world has undergone revolutionary changes over centuries of wardrobe history, but one trend seems to have persisted throughout years. Modern fashion rules have become increasingly lax as more casual looks are becoming more acceptable across occasions.

However more forgiving they have become, fashion rules still exist, they're just easier to follow.

Clothing has become a form of expression.

Men and women have allowed subcultures to influence their identities and style of dress. Examples of these subcultures are punk, hip-hop, grunge, and mods.

Although initially thought of as edgy and rebellious, high fashion designers have adapted these styles into their lines, making these looks more appropriate and acceptable across society.

It is important to stay true to yourself through dressing, but equally important to dress appropriately.

To quote Tom Ford, "Dressing well is a form of good manners", and should not be taken lightly. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Business Attire and Dress Codes

Appropriate business attire can vary from profession to profession. Become familiar with your company's dress code before committing to a specific wardrobe.

Regardless of the specifics, there are universal rules that every conscious professional should follow in her workspace.

The most important rule for any clothes or accessories is to ensure that they are a proper fit.

Anything too tight can be unflattering, but too loose and the outfit will look sloppy. The key accessories to top off any professional outfit are watches, bags, and appropriately painted nails.

It is imperative to avoid wearing revealing clothing, such as blouses with low necklines. Heels that are too tall or sharp will not only be difficult to walk in but unprofessional due to the annoying clicking noise they make.

Ensure that your clothes, accessories, and shoes are free of stains and wrinkles in order to appear neat and kept together.

When it comes to picking colors, avoid neon shades unless reserved for a single statement accessory. For clothing, darker colors, such as black or navy blue, appear stronger and more professional. Jewelry should be kept simple and silent to not distract from but enhance the outfit.

When it comes to schools, these institutions typically have a dress code outlined for both the teachers and students in the handbook. Modesty is key in a learning environment, so avoid revealing clothes. Footwear should also be considered for safety and comfort.

Black and White Tie Events

Black and white tie events have different dress codes, despite both being formal. To put it simply, white tie events are the most formal while black tie leaves a little more room for experiment. Think of the Oscars versus a more intimate family wedding.

For white tie events, full-length evening gowns are mandatory and exposed necklines are classic to the look. They are to be paired with precious jewelry and delicate clutches. If the dress happens to be sleeveless, it must be paired with long gloves.

The overall look is reminiscent of old-timey balls that exude nothing less than elegance.

Black tie events are little less strict in comparison, although still formal. When it comes to dresses, floor length is still typical, but shorter cocktail dresses are also acceptable. Jewelry, although still worn, it typically limited to a single statement piece. There is room for experimentation with colors, but classic and dark shades remain the most popular.

When it comes to etiquette, it is important to carry yourself with class at both events. Not only are they highly public, but also high profile, meaning that you do not want to embarrass yourself in this crowd.

Remember table manners, drink responsibly and make polite conversation.

Weddings

Wedding etiquette has become increasingly diverse as more couples opt for relaxed wedding themes and dress codes. Registries have become the norm for gift giving, guest lists have become standardized and expenses are more evenly split across families.

However casual a wedding dress code may seem, it is still important to remember that this is a key event in a loved one's life, so you should still dress for it as such.

Regardless of the wedding's dress code, articles of clothing like denim jeans, slippers and sweatpants are never acceptable. Even if the invitation states black tie optional, put in the extra effort for the couple and dress up. A universal rule is to avoid wearing white, leave that to the bride.

Picking the Right Accessories

As modern jewelry etiquette breaks the uniform and traditional looks of the past, there is much more room for customization and mixing of pieces.

The influx of fashion jewelry also makes accessorization more accessible and affordable by the masses.

However, there are still rules to follow by the occasion.

• When it comes to the office setting, jewelry should be considered with practicality. Watches are not only fashionable but ensure time management. Jewelry should be minimal; anything clunky or noisy comes off as unprofessional.
• In casual settings, you have more freedom. You can mix and match sets to create your own form of expression. There really aren't any limits to your creativity in this realm.
• For weddings, be mindful of what the bride will be wearing. Do not try to upstage her if she opts to wear more minimal jewelry. Save your expensive and fine jewelry for formal black and white tie events, where everyone will be dressed up.

People often take pleasure in wearing their birthstones, deeming it an elegant form of self-expression. Jewelry is a form of expression and as such, can be used to send subliminal messages. Popular gemstones include:

• Diamonds - a classic against any lady's neckline
• Rubies - a fiery addition to any statement piece
• Opals - considered to be a symbol of good fortune, associated with love and passion.
• Emeralds - add the color of spring to any piece
• Sapphires - one of the strongest gemstones, available in a plethora of colors

When it comes to picking the right bag, consider its purpose to decide on the size, color, and style.

Bags are typically carried by the left hand to leave the right hand free for handshakes. When navigating crowded areas, bags should be held in front of you to avoid hitting others. Avoid placing your bag on a table at all costs. Instead, opt to place in behind your back, hanging on your chair or in an empty chair nearby.

Bonus Tips:

Although these rules are important to follow in order to appear well dressed for any occasion, it's equally important to customize these looks to suit you. This includes dressing for your body type, age, and personal taste. These are merely guidelines to serve as the barebones for your next outfit.

With the rising popularity of piercings and tattoos, certain workplaces no longer require their employees to cover them up. However, in the white-collar workforce, it is still preferred that tattoos are covered. For piercings, anything other than earrings should be minimalistic and barely visible.

The way you dress contributes to others' first impressions of you.

First impressions are important enough to make or break an opportunity, so it's always best to err on the side of caution.

What pieces do you think are necessary to have in your wardrobe to be ready for any occasion?